Despite what self-appointed zen gurus out there would like you to believe, you'll never be able to "beat stress" completely — and honestly, who would want to? A life completely free of stress would mean a life without deadlines for projects you care about. It would also mean no more packed social calendar.The point is: Forget everything you think you know about "de-stressing." This article is not going to tell you to take a step back, say no to things, not overload yourself, or "just stop worrying" about any stressful thing you simply cannot control. Sometimes those steps are necessary, yes, but those are things you know how to do. What we are going to do here, instead, is to go over how to actually manage your stress so that it doesn't take over your life or wreck your health.
Why should you care? Not to stress you out or anything (heh), but the mind and body effects of too much stress are very real. Chronic stress has been linked to the developments of a myriad of health issues, from minor stomach upset to substance abuse issues, depression, and cardiovascular disease.
Even though we often talk about the word "stress" like it's an external, uncontrollable force, it's helpful to think about stress as more of a biological state. The true definition of stress is simply "the brain's response to any demand," per the National Institute of Mental Health. Often this demand is some kind of change, whether that's a negative one (like the death of a loved one) or a positive one (like starting a new job). But it can also be daily triggers (like your morning commute) or extreme stressors, like living through a violent or traumatic experience.
For every stressful demand, big or small, your brain initiates a complicated chain reaction. The short story is, it starts with a distress signal from your brain that tells your body to pump out hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones speed your heart rate, open your lungs, and sharpen your senses when you're stressed. It's a response designed to help you deal with threats, and it's supposed to calm down once the threat has passed. But if you can't (or don't) give your body the help it needs to relax, being on alert all the time can eventually start to take a toll on your body.
Because your life will always be demanding (and changing), the real keys to managing your stress depend on your ability to ride the stress wave, not stop it or slow it down. Thankfully, scientists take this seriously. Here, we'll be collecting the best science-backed strategies to roll with it.
Stop feeling bad about taking a break.
You have a ton of work to do on a tight deadline, and then you run into a coworker in the bathroom you haven’t seen in a while. Fight the urge to run back to your desk, and just enjoy the break.
A survey of office workers done by Staples in 2014 found that more than a quarter of respondents only take a break for lunch, and one in five say guilt is the main reason they feel the need to push themselves to keep working.
But research shows that giving yourself permission to walk away from a stressful task or situation, even briefly, can allow you to recharge and feel less overwhelmed when you return to it, according to the American Psychological Association. On top of that, other studies have found that regular short breaks can help you stay focused, ultimately making you more productive. Win-win.
Stop watching the news.
Had a vicious day at work? Turn off the TV and put down Twitter: Catching up on the day's news might just make things worse. Per a national survey from 2014, 40% of stressed out adults pointed to watching, reading, or listening to the news as one of the constant sources of stress in their lives.
This is especially important when the news is particularly scary or violent, as it so often is. Researchers have linked coverage of terrorist attacks, for example, to increased levels of anxiety and distress, even among those not directly affected.
While it’s understandable to want to be informed, keep in mind that the internet will always be there. Consider catching up on the news when you’re feeling more resilient.
Go on a retreat.
Maybe you’ve tried meditation on your own, and just can’t seem to get the hang of it. Why not take a weekend away from your normal relaxation routine (Netflix, mainly) and do a short meditation retreat?
For a study published recently in Biological Psychiatry, Carnegie Mellon researchers recruited 35 stressed-out adults, sending half of the group on a three-day meditation retreat while the other half received rote relaxation training.
After the various trainings, the retreat participants not only had lower levels of inflammatory chemicals associated with stress, but they also had more connectivity in the brain areas associated with executive control. Even better: four months later the researchers followed up, and the meditators still had lower levels of those inflammatory markers. In contrast, the people who had relaxation training were more stressed after and there was no evidence of brain changes.
Smile through it.
You’ve heard the phrase “grin and bear it.” Well, there may be some benefit to smiling through the stress. A 2012 study from the journal Psychological Sciencefound that the physical act of smiling (even if you’re not truly happy) can lessen the stress response.
The researchers recruited 169 students and separated them into three groups, with each group learning to hold a certain facial expression — either one that mimicked a neutral face, a smile, or a Duchenne smile (a smile that engages the muscles of the mouth and eyes). The catch: they were trained to hold each of these expressions while they held a pair of chopsticks in their mouths. Why? The chopsticks were key to the experiment because it allowed the researchers to trick the smiling participants into not realizing they were doing so. Only half of the people in the two smiling groups were told to smile; the other half basically thought they were doing some weird chopsticks exercise.
After all participants had mastered the chopsticks situation, the researchers then put the participants through a stressful multitasking exercise while they held their various expressions, during which their heart rates and stress levels were measured. In the end, the people in both smiling groups, whether they realized they were smiling or not, recovered faster from the stressful task. The people in the Duchene smile group fared slightly better, as did those who were explicitly told to smile.
The takeaway: Next time you’re stuck in traffic and already late for work, slap a smile on your face the second your blood starts to boil. This may help keep your stress level in check.
Take a nap.
Your sleep and your stress levels are intricately linked, research has found. It’s kind of a vicious cycle: Being amped up from stress can keep you up at night, which, inevitably, just stresses you out more the next day, and prevents you (again) from getting the right quality and quantity of rest. Making matters worse, the more sleep-deprived you become, the worse your stress gets, suggests one 2012 study published in the journal Emotion. That just underscores how crucial it is to break the cycle.
One way to do that: Take a nap. Easier said than done? Definitely. But it doesn’t have to be a long one. One (admittedly small, but compelling) study looking at sleep-deprived men found that a 30-minute power nap made a huge difference in counteracting the stress caused by lack of sleep. Researchers recruited 11 men to spend a few nights in a sleep lab two nights, and only let them sleep for two hours. Some of the men were allowed to take two 30-minute naps the day after their sleep was restricted. When analyzing the guys’ urine and saliva, the researchers found that those who didn’t get to nap experienced a 2.5-fold increase in stress-related hormones. Among the nappers, however, the researchers saw no change.
An earlier study of 85 adults, found that a 45-minute daytime sleep helped protect people from the cardiovascular effects of stress.
This brings a whole new level of importance to your post-brunch nap, doesn't it? Next time you're feeling sleepy during the day, see if there's any way you can steal a 15-minute snooze. By calming you, it may actually help you sleep better later.
Think about other people.
Getting out of your own head is easier said than done, but it might just be the key to calming your nerves, stat. In fact, research shows that it's pretty much ingrained in us to reach out to others in response to a stressor as a way to buffer ourselves from freaking out.
While calling a friend to vent is a good stress relief tactic, other research shows that being helpful to others is also key. For a 2015 study from the journal Clinical Psychological Science, researchers had 77 adults keep a diary for two weeks about their daily stressors, and how often they helped others (everything from holding a door open for strangers to helping their kids with homework). They also rated their mental health for each day. In the end, they found that "helpers" felt less stressed (even though they still had plenty of stressors), and a lot happier than those who didn't engage in what the researchers termed "prosocial behaviors."
Do yoga.
Okay, so you've probably heard this one before, but the calming powers of yoga cannot be overstated. Thousands of years of experience tells us that the ancient practice is a surefire way to find your center, and more recently, science has backed that up. Multiple studies on yoga and stress relief since the '70s have found that the practice decreases perceived stress by "down-regulating" the HPA axis, a.k.a. the feedback loop between your brain and endocrine system that creates the stress response. In English: In addition to helping you calm down, practicing yoga might help train your brain to react to stressors in a more chill way from the start. You can find a few beginner-friendly yoga poses to start with here.
Cultivate love.
Yes, you know from The Beatles that "All You Need Is Love," but exactly how to actively practice that is a bit more murky. Loving-kindness meditation is a proven technique in which you sit quietly, and direct happiness and love toward yourself and others through mantras.
Research suggests that this specific kind of meditation can help with many different sources of stress. For example, a University of Arizona study found that it can help ease stress related to social anxiety. Another study found that it helped reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder for veterans who completed a 12-week loving-kindness mediation course.
Block off time for devoted worrying.
Literally, go create an event in your calendar and invite yourself to it. Uncertainty about something happening at work or with your S.O., or anxiety about your future or your student loans (!) is totally understandable. And sometimes, you just need to give yourself the space to worry about stuff so that the worry doesn't take over your life.
Research in people dealing with work burnout and adjustment disorder supports this tactic. In one 2011 study, researchers found that people dealing with intense stress who set aside 30 minutes a day to just sit and worry were better at coping with their problems. The key: They confined their worrying to just that 30 minutes. The technical term for this technique, known as "stimulus control of worry" was developed by psychologists back in the '80s, with the idea that containing cyclical thoughts that stress you out to that 30 minutes can keep them from making you miserable all day long.
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