It was the day Sarwari Bibi had awaited for more than two decades. Surrounded by friends and family, the 45-year-old Pakistani salon worker dressed in brightly colored clothing and sat patiently as women flitted around her, helping sweep up her hair and apply her makeup. But Bibi was no ordinary bride: In 1992, her first husband, then unemployed, told her she was expected to pay the household expenses. When Bibi couldn’t come up with the money, her husband tried to kill her by throwing kerosene at her and lighting her on fire.
Before her wedding last month to Arshad Ali, Bibi had suffered decades of loneliness and discrimination as a result of her scars, and underwent seven major surgeries. Her life changed when she connected with the Depilex Smile Again Foundation, a group dedicated to victims of domestic violence, and then met Ali. "I thought I didn’t have another chance towards happiness," she told Refinery29.
Sadly, Bibi is far from alone: Hundreds of women and children each year become victims of acid attacks in Pakistan, according to the Asia Foundation. The majority are carried out by husbands against their own wives and children, usually over domestic disagreements. And the horrific attacks — which disfigure but rarely kill — don’t just take place in rural areas, but also in major cities.
On her wedding day, Bibi’s friends and colleagues, many of them also victims of acid and kerosene attacks, were there to celebrate one woman's triumph. That process began in 2008, when she registered with Depilex Smile Again, the staff of which helped with her medical care. Bibi also took one of the foundation's beauty courses, and now works as a beautician at the Depilex salon, earning enough to support herself.
Ahead, Bibi shares her wedding portraits and her stunning story of love and hope after abuse.
Correction: An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated Bibi met Ali through the Depilex Smile Again Foundation. He is a farmer and relative of Bibi's who proposed to her. Refinery29 regrets the error.
Before her wedding ceremony, Bibi (here, flanked by her sisters) was adorned with flowers and henna during an event known as Mehndi. The intricate designs made with henna paste can include the bride and groom's initials and other symbols. The event's main color is yellow to complement the tradition called Ubtan, which is powder applied to the bride to give a glowing complexion. Usually, pre-wedding events begin a few days before the actual ceremony, but in Bibi’s case, they were held on the same day for budget reasons.
Bibi is adorned with henna before her marriage ceremony at the Depilex Salon in Lahore, Pakistan. As the natural dye is painted on her hands, Bibi’s friends and colleagues gather around and sing songs.
Bibi greets her friend and fellow survivor Bushra Shafi (right) during her pre-wedding ceremony. Shafi, 48, was burned by her husband with kerosene, even on her tongue. Shafi says he expected her to pay for everything at home after he lost his job. When she refused, he attacked her.
Since the attack, Shafi she has undergone 30 surgeries. She took a beautician course from Depilex Smile Again salon and now works as a seamstress.
Masarrat Misbah (center), CEO of the Depilex Smile Again Foundation, attended Bibi's wedding, as well. Since its founding in 2003, Depilex Smile Again has provided 423 survivors with vocational training and reconstructive surgeries, and opened a chain of salons all across Pakistan, Misbah told Refinery29.
"People should take an example from Bibi’s story; all these women deserve to have a fresh start," Misbah said. She added that it is often difficult for women who have been victims of these attacks to love and trust again. "These suspicions are human. You see in their eyes an urge to look beautiful on their wedding day. But to cover their scars with makeup is not an easy job."
Bibi's friend Shafi gets a makeover from fellow acid attack survivor Naureen Jabbar (center) before attending the wedding. Jabbar, 32, told Refinery29 that her ex-husband threw acid on her while she was dropping their children off at school last year. She said the attack was revenge for their divorce.
"[He said], 'If you cannot be with me, then you cannot be with anyone else,'" Jabbar recalled. She now lives in a rented apartment and supports her three daughters; she hopes to open her own salon after training at the Smile Again Foundation.
Bibi has her hair and makeup done by her friends and fellow salon workers at Depilex. The eye-makeup was challenging because of Bibi's injuries, since the attack by her ex-husband left her disfigured and almost blind.
Wedding guest Sabira Sultana (right, with other guests aboard a bus to the ceremony) was also burned with kerosene during a domestic dispute. She now works as a patient coordinator at the Smile Again Foundation, helping other acid attack survivors.
Following Pakistani tradition, Bibi walks down the aisle with her sisters, as friends and colleagues follow.
Flower girls from the groom's side of the family wait for the bride during her wedding ceremony.
Bibi and husband, Ali, receive guests at their reception. Depilex Smile Again founder Masarrat Misbah urges other men to follow Ali's example and give women who have survived attacks a better life.
Bibi receives a present from 13-year-old Fizza Ali, another survivor of violence. The girl's grandfather pushed her into a bonfire and later apologized for his crime. In many rural areas and conservative households, girls are seen as less important than boys.
Ali sips milk given to him by the bride's sisters and friends. In this wedding-reception tradition, the women give the groom a glass of milk and then ask for presents or money.
Bibi's brother dances at the wedding. He says it was very emotional to see his sister start her new life with her new husband after facing such hardships.
After the wedding, Bibi and Ali go home to Bibi's house to start their new life together in the Lahore neighborhood of Daroghawala.
Ali says he likes Bibi for who she is and wants to take care of her. The bride is planning to move from her maternal house to live with him and his family, who have also accepted her.
Bibi and Ali at home after their wedding.
Bibi and her husband spend time at her home with their family members after the wedding.
Bibi covers her face when she leaves her house.
Bibi's wedding marks a new start in life for one survivor. But Pakistan has a long way to go to prevent such attacks from happening again. The Acid and Burns Crime Bill, proposed in 2014, defines these acts as crimes with punishment of up to 14 years in prison. Many survivors think that is not enough, and activists and lawmakers are negotiating whether punishment should also include life in prison or the death penalty. According to acid attack survivor Sabira Sultana: "The solution to end this heinous crime is strict implementation of law and strict sentences."
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