Even if you think you’re not kinky, there’s a chance your brain might be. And when it comes to getting turned on and orgasming, our brains deserve more credit than they often get.
Not only are sexual fantasies totally normal, but they allow us to explore our sexuality in a space that’s super safe: our imaginations. For couples in long-term relationships, sharing sexual fantasies with one another can renew excitement, writes certified sex therapist Marty Klein in an article about erotic role-playing. But whether they’re shared with a partner or kept in mind for solo pleasure, sexual fantasies can be pretty fantastic.
While some fantasies — such as having sex in a romantic or unexpected location — are fairly common, others are completely random or personal. Whatever your sexual fantasy is, though, it’s probably not as out-of-the-ordinary as you might think.
To give you a peek into what actual people are fantasizing about (because who isn’t wondering, right?), we asked readers and R29 staffers to anonymously share their go-to sexual fantasy. So read on and dream on, y’all.
"To be at an extravagant affair. A ball, a masquerade, or an awards show with champagne on the tables. A jazz band playing on the stage.
Being led around [by] my partner, greeting his friends, then towards the middle of the night, he takes my hand and leads me to a private, silent area where we can kiss. Then, he can slip his hand up my gown and guide me to his groin." — Ginge
"I'm in this fancy apartment. I imagine I'm with a hot friend of my ex's, or with an older guy that treats me so good that my ex's girlfriend gets jealous. It starts with me...giving him a lap dance, before he literally rips off all of my clothes."
Illustrated by: Ivy Liu.
"We're in a big, red truck, and while he's driving me around his childhood hometown and fields, a small smile forms at the edge of his lips. In his eyes, I see the reflection of the empty road and open pastures ahead, but I can see that he's looking and seeing something else. Maybe what he used to see while driving down this road, in his childhood.
"He looks over at me and asks, 'What?' I smile, and his smile widens... 'What??' I shake my head and say nothing. That innocent light in his eyes somehow flicks off, and is replaced by another light... A small fire. 'What are you thinking?'
"I know that look, and suddenly my mood shifts. I look into his eyes, but then look down as I blush. He puts his hand on my leg, but I take it off. He seems a little thrown off, but then I put my hand on his belt buckle and start undoing his pants. I've done this many times before, but this time, he lets out a small whimper and I start to throw myself on him, suddenly fueled by that vulnerability that comes out sparingly from this big man who thinks much too much of himself. There's hot air coming in from the windows, and we're already sweating, but we both never cared about that. The car goes off the road a bit, but he recovers, only to completely get off the road and onto a field.
"Now I'm fully straddling him, and he's getting touchy, and we eventually toss and tumble our way into the back seat between laughs, and then through the window onto the bed of the truck, in the back. The sun has set, and the sky is a million colors and hues of orange, red, pink, and a weird purple on the edges. The air is warm, but there is a breeze. We go until the sky is a velvet dark-blue and we're both on our backs, watching the stars and giggling here and there about some of the things we've done in the past, innocent memories and then some not so innocent. I feel safe and warm, even though the night's chill has started to settle in. He pulls me in closer to him, and we go once more under the light of the full moon, more serious than with the light of day, more eye contact, and I feel every single part of my skin he touches like a shock of electricity. Eventually, I lay my head on his chest, and he wraps his arm around me, and we both fall asleep."
"Tom Felton. In Hogwarts. I'm a Ravenclaw and he's a Slytherin. Forbidden romance. He's a selfish lover, but I don't even mind. The sex is magical." — Tara, 20.
"Having a threesome with my ex-boyfriend and our mutual best friend in my bedroom, all of us tipsy — but not too drunk — on quality red wine, and laughing about it all along." — Adrian, 21
"I always have a fantasy of me and a male friend going [and] hanging out with a couple in their living room. The couple dares us to kiss, undress, etc. with each dare becoming more sexual until we have sex on the couch in front of them. It's a rush of both adrenaline and arousal — it's taboo, yet safe. It works EVERY time — to be honest, I'm getting a little warm just typing it out." — Melania, 19
"I always thought crushing on your trainer was reserved for middle-aged women living in the suburbs. Then I met my trainer, on what became the most motivated summer break of my entire life. On the days I had sessions, I'd try to contain myself each time he adjusted an arm or a leg, and especially when he made me do a plank while using his hand to put pressure on the small of my back. On the days I wasn't scheduled to see him, I'd make sure he saw me in my sweaty glow, doing squats and stretching out. In a perfect world, he'd shut down the gym one night, lead me upstairs, and fuck me on every piece of exercise equipment he could, giving me commands and counting down my reps like he did in my sessions. Then, we'd cool off in the locker room and do it again in the shower, hot bodies pressed against the cold tiles. Maybe finish off with a smoothie downstairs and a 'See you for our next session, miss' to end the night." — Missy, 20
"I don't know if I'd ever like this in a role play, but I like to read medical play fanfiction usually involving two men, even though I'm a heterosexual woman. I really like the act of one person being examined and the other one in control of that." — Em, 18
“I'm doing laundry in my building's basement and a hot neighbor I've been eyeing for a while sneaks up behind me and starts kissing my neck. I turn around, and it feels amazing. He lifts me up onto the washing machine, and we have sex right then and there — with the vibrations from the machine pulsating through my body.” — Lulu, 23
“[My fantasy is] serving a few girls at a party — being the server, wearing only the apron and nothing else, doing whatever the girls tell me to do. Eventually, I’m doing the housework naked and entertaining the girls.” — Nantes, 22
“[I fantasize] that the dad of the family I babysit brings me into his bedroom after the kids are asleep and asks if I want to earn a little extra money. Then he puts me on the bed and undresses me and kisses and touches my body and breasts (but not my mouth, which I'm just now realizing) and gives me oral sex. But I never touch him. He does all the work and he also remains clothed. I'm gay (a gay woman) and I don't want anything to do with touching him or seeing him naked. I think the reason it turns me on so much is because he's a man, and so I feel no emotional connection or like it's actually real. Sex or intimacy with girls is really stressful for me, because I fear being judged because it actually matters to me, but since I don't feel any attachment to men, I don't care what they think of me. I feel like this is pretty weird, but I think about it when I masturbate pretty often and it always really works.” — Nanny, 20
“My sexual fantasies tend to surface in my dreams. I have vivid dreams, and I usually remember them, so I'll recount one. I once dreamt that a girl was pressing her body into me. The pressure was amazing. She stimulated my clit and covered every inch of my body with hers. I woke up and honestly thought I'd had sex with someone the night before. It felt like a warm summer glow, where you close your eyelids and see only the light pink and yellow of sunshine when your eyes are closed. It was definitely hot. And wet.” — Girl Dreamer, 18
“I love to fantasize about having sex with my boyfriend and his brother. I imagine it playing out like this... My boyfriend (I'm just going to call him S.O.) is in the other room visiting with his brother from the navy who has come to stay with us for a couple of days. I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes, and the next thing I know, I feel S.O.'s hands wrap around my arms. He pulls me into the back room and I don't see his brother immediately, because he is behind the door. From there S.O. turns to me and says, ‘We would like to fuck you. It's something we have been wanting for a while,’ and his brother whips out his cock while S.O. ties me to the futon after I eagerly agree. Then, they gently punish me switching between double penetration and the boys taking turns eating me out. They don't finish until I cum... This is something I've been fantasizing about for YEARS. Sometimes there are slight variations, or I like to add their father to the mix. I mean, how could I not dream about getting fucked by the both of them? They love each other more than anything, and I've never met a better team of siblings... I guess there is something about their family that just gets me...” — Mickey, 21
“My mind keeps returning to the fantasy of sharing a hotel room with my thirtysomething...soccer coach the night before a game. The idea of being ‘chosen’ by an older authority figure (especially one that is hypermasculine), me being ‘special’ enough for him to want me, is more of an emotional fantasy, rather than a sexual one. Taking place in a hotel room is just another layer of being ‘chosen.’ Every time my mind wanders into this fantasy, the sex aspect takes somewhat of a backseat in favor of the emotional fulfilment it gives me. Imagining the sex doesn’t evoke strong images, but rather sensations: My breath gets caught in the back of my throat, my ears and the small of my back get warm, my forearm starts getting tingly, and I imagine our legs being intertwined under the sheets. The emotional fantasy gives me a sense of accomplishment: I was able to get him to want me, therefore I must have done something right. Also, my coach was really hot, so that probably had something to do with it.” — Neck, 19
“For a while now, I've wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman (I'm a woman in a committed heterosexual relationship). I imagine that I'm with a friend, someone I know well, and after talking about these feelings, she agrees to experiment with me. Or better yet, she teaches me, because she's already experienced. I want to feel the soft, gentle touch of a woman. I also want to go down on a woman. I've woken up from dreams like this, where I'm eating out a girl, and it's always so hot. But I feel I could never tell my boyfriend; I told him that I had drunkenly kissed a girl friend in college six years ago, and then he got upset about it when I went to hang out with her the next weekend.” — Mandy, 23
“[My fantasy is] being submissive, but specifically being submissive by using a butt plug. I'm a very loud, dominant woman, and I like switching it in the bedroom.” — Jane, 18
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