We're all guilty of it. You see a comedy, spew popcorn all over the place laughing, and then spend the next several days repeating your favorite jokes to your friends. Days turn into weeks, and before long you've memorized every single line from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. People who have never seen Anchorman, didn't find it all that clever, or would like to watch Anchorman without you talking over the actors may find this behavior particularly annoying.
Haters gonna hate, but we totally feel you. Sometimes movie dialogue is so on point that it just has to be treasured, repeated, printed on T-shirts, and so forth. Some lines just sparkle. The serious, somber, important films may win all the awards, but a good poop joke can really stand the test of time.
We'll be regularly updating this list with our favorite lines from films old and new. Read on for the rudest, the crudest, and raddest quotes Hollywood has given us.
Jess: "'Baby talk'? That's not a saying."
Harry Burns: "Oh, but 'baby fish mouth' is sweeping the nation? I hear them talking."
-Jess (Bruno Kirby) and Harry (Billy Crystal) playing Pictionary, When Harry Met Sally
Pictured: Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal
Photo: Moviestore Collection/Rex/Shutterstock.
"You're like a snack-sized Denzel."
-Bob Stone (The Rock), Central Intelligence
Pictured: Kevin Hart and The Rock
Photo: Moviestore Collection/REX/Shutterstock.
"Is that Tom Hanks from Cast Away?"
-Robin (Rebel Wilson), referring to her friend's pubic hair, How to Be Single
Pictured: Dakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson
Photo: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock.
"Looks are everything. You ever heard David Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. Think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method?"
-Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds), Deadpool
Pictured: Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson/Deadpool
Photo: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock.
"You're dizzy because you played Russian roulette with your vagina."
-Nellie (Gaby Hoffmann), Obvious Child
Pictured: Jenny Slate in Obvious Child
Photo: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock.
"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam."
-Buck Russell (John Candy), Uncle Buck
Pictured: John Candy
Photo: Moviestore Collection/REX/Shutterstock.
Holland March: "Look on the bright side. Nobody got hurt."
Jackson Healy: "People got hurt."
Holland March: "I'm saying, I think they died quickly. So I don't think they got hurt."
-Holland March (Ryan Gosling) and Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe), The Nice Guys
Pictured: Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe
Photo: Rex/Shutterstock.
"Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not."
-Dave (Mark Addy), The Full Monty
Pictured: Tom Wilkinson, Robert Carlyle, Steve Huison, Hugo Speer, Paul Barber, and Mark Addy
Photo: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock.
Bumper: "I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or an incorrect feeling?"
Fat Amy: "Well...sometimes I have the feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmm...better not."
-Bumper (Adam DeVine) and Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson), Pitch Perfect
Pictured: Rebel Wilson
Photo: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock.
Jules: "Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals."
Vincent: "Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste good."
Jules: "Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces."
Vincent: "How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces."
Jules: "I don't eat dog either."
Vincent: "Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?"
Jules: "I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way."
Vincent: "Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?"
Jules: "Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be 10 times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?"
-Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) and Vincent (John Travolta), Pulp Fiction
Pictured: Samuel L. Jackson
Photo: Snap/Rex/Shutterstock.
Annie: "You read my diary?"
Brynn: "At first I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad, handwritten book."
-Annie (Kristen Wiig) and Brynn (Rebel Wilson), Bridesmaids
Pictured: Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig
Photo: Moviestore Collection/REX/Shutterstock.
Old Lady: "Are you prepared for Jehovah's return? 'Cause if you're not, we've got a pam..."
[Craig slams the door in their faces.]
Old Lady: "Well, fuck you. Half-dead motherfucker. Come on, sister."
-Old Lady (LaWanda Page) and Craig (Ice Cube), Friday
Pictured: Chris Tucker and Ice Cube
Photo: Moviestore Collection/Rex/Shutterstock.
Del: "You play with your balls a lot."
Neal: "I do NOT play with my balls."
Del: "Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!"
Neal: "Are you trying to start a fight?"
Del: "No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot."
Neal: "You know what'd make me happy?"
Del: "Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?"
-Del (John Candy) and Neal (Steve Martin), Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Pictured: Steve Martin
Photo: Moviestore Collection/Rex/Shutterstock.
Ben Stone: "Do you want to do it doggie style?"
Alison Scott: "You're not going to fuck me like a dog."
Ben Stone: "It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything."
-Ben Stone (Seth Rogen) and Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl), Knocked Up
Pictured: Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen
Photo: Moviestore Collection/Rex/Shutterstock.
"We need a little less Forever 21 and a little more Suddenly 42."
-Maura Ellis (Amy Poehler), Sisters
Pictured: Amy Poehler and Tina Fey
Photo: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock.
"I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous-skirt convention you have to go to?"
-Emily (Emily Blunt), The Devil Wears Prada
Pictured: Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, and Emily Blunt
Photo: Moviestore Collection/REX/Shutterstock.
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