Last month, the internet was captivated by the story of one Twitter-using man in search of a simple, late-night McDonalds milkshake. (Although he never got his milkshake, he did get his moment in the spotlight.) We later found out we had been betrayed — the whole story was a huge exaggeration.
But even though the saga was mostly made-up, it broke the internet for a reason. There is something about a good fast food horror story that is just incredibly entertaining. And (lucky for us) there are plenty of real disaster situations out there. Ones involving bugs where you don't want bugs to be. Gastrointestinal distress brought on by a particular burger. Unfamiliar hair decorating your lunch.
Like campfire stories shouldn't be shared in the dark, you should definitely avoid these anecdotes if you're eating, eating soon, or if you're looking forward to any fast food in the near future. Ahead, find seven fast food horror stories from R29 staffers that are sure to make you cringe. Read at your own risk!
Extra Protein
"I had a beetle baked into a Papa John's pizza. I bit into something strangely crunchy and looked down and saw half a shell in the cheese. The other half was in my mouth. I have not eaten any Papa John's since then."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.
Sip Surprise
"I have had hairs in my food at two separate Jamba Juices (both of them had A sanitation grades). The first time, the hair came up my straw and I pulled a dark, four-inch-long hair out of my mouth. I will never go to any Jamba Juice again."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.
How Sweet Do You Want Your Salad?
"I was shopping with my mom at my local mall in Maryland and we stopped in an Olive Garden for a quick lunch. As you know, they serve the salad and breadsticks before your entrées. I scooped out a big portion of salad (after my mom had her helping) and added pepper. I mixed in the pepper and noticed something pink on the bottom of my plate. With my fork, I pulled out an empty Sweet'N Low packet. I screamed out loud and looked into the salad bowl and saw more empty packets in our salad. It was obvious that some guest before us had used their salad bowl as garbage and the lovely servers decided to reserve the salad to my mom and I without even giving it a second thought (or glance). I was appalled and nauseous. We left immediately with offers of free food from management."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.
Extra Crunchy
"I was in a rush for a flight and didn't want to get stuck with some crappy, overpriced in-flight meal purchase, so I grabbed an (also overpriced) pre-made sandwich from one of those airport markets. A short time later, I took a bite out of it and was overwhelmed with the feeling that something was wrong. I decided to open up my sandwich and there it was: a dead cockroach sandwiched between my lettuce and turkey. Safe to say ginger ale was all I needed the rest of that flight."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.
A Hairy Situation
"One time, I was eating a Friendly's ice cream (chocolate chip cookie dough) cone and there was a hair — I pulled it out and then proceeded for another bite, only to find that there was a HAIR BALL in the middle. I shudder at the thought of it."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.
Mystery Meat
"My boyfriend went on a late-night run to Checkers and got a spicy chicken sandwich that was filled with what he thinks was cartilage. He may or may not have eaten it anyway."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.
Basic Hygiene, Please
"One time on a 12-hour family road trip to North Carolina, my parents stopped at Bojangles for lunch. We walked in and saw that that the cashiers were handing out food (fried chicken and biscuits) without any gloves on. I thought it was absolutely disgusting and couldn't believe people were willingly accepting food from the hands of strangers. I sat in the restaurant and got back in the car for the remainder of the drive, refusing to eat anything from Bojangles. I think that was the worst experience — I was forced to smell fried food, but knew better than to eat any."
Illustrated By Mallory Heyer.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
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